Haven't we all heard those words at some point?
"GET A GRIP!" "WHY DON'T YOU JUST RELAX?" "CALM DOWN!"
Even though other's intentions may seem like simple advice they are trying to pass on, for most people these terms can increase if not perpetuate the emotion. Emotions can become very loud in our ears. It may start with something more mild like Irritation, who will then invite Anger, Frustration, and Sadness to come hang out. There is no "quick fix" to just STOP these feelings.
My first question to you would be "What is screaming loudest in your ear? What are you feeling the strongest?" Once it can be named, it can be deconstructed, like peeling the layers of an onion. You will start to see that you are skilled, competent, and have the ability to reduce these emotions/problems that want to take control of your life. You are the expert of your own life and as the therapist I'm here to help you find exceptions to these "problems". These problems are looked at as separate entities, and do not define you.
Not just therapy, but even conversations, are always most helpful when there is a collaboration. Don't forget, there is always HOPE!
Interested in therapy or support groups?
Therapy Services with Heather @Hope Psychology
In Veritas Libertas
www.heatherlauchlan.com
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Therapy Support Groups
Group therapy is a specific type of therapy that involves working with several people at the same time. Groups can be as small as 3 people, but are usually around 6-10 people. Groups usually meet once per week.
In the first session, it starts off with going around and having each person introduce themselves and tell just a bit about why they are there. Then in following sessions, this would only be repeated if a new person has joined the group. If a new person has not joined, then individuals are encouraged to share what had come up for them during the week and what they may have experienced since the last meeting.
There are many valuable benefits from a group situation: hope, commonality, community, education, and safety just to name a few. And with the offerings of support and guidance from other group members, individuals are better able to understand self-responsibilities and choices.
www.heatherlauchlan.com
In Veritas Libertas
In the first session, it starts off with going around and having each person introduce themselves and tell just a bit about why they are there. Then in following sessions, this would only be repeated if a new person has joined the group. If a new person has not joined, then individuals are encouraged to share what had come up for them during the week and what they may have experienced since the last meeting.
There are many valuable benefits from a group situation: hope, commonality, community, education, and safety just to name a few. And with the offerings of support and guidance from other group members, individuals are better able to understand self-responsibilities and choices.
Click on the link below for more information on the groups that are currently forming.
I have 3 Therapy Support Groups: Divorce/Breakup, Exploring Orientation, Addiction/Substance Abuse.
Group Therapy @ Hope Psychology www.heatherlauchlan.com
In Veritas Libertas
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Recovery; A Second Thought.
In the many conversations that I've had with clients, it seems apparent that there is a preconceived notion and seeking of "recovery" from problems. And according to societal standards, if one is not able to to do this in a short period of time, then they have failed.
Here is society's mathematical calculation: pressure with the client to FIX things, and pressure from the therapist to FIX things eventually = recovery.
The dictionary definition of recovery is "a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength." Just the fact that the definition contains the word normal, makes it easy to understand how pressure exerts all its power on someone. It is also understood that there are processes involved in recovery. It is the therapist's job to question the process and assist with better understanding of the person's relationship with the problems. There should not be an attempt at making the person more normal.
When we hear about the recovery process, it is common to assume there may be "issues" centered around what can be referred to as substance abuse. I will use alcohol as an example. I meet with a group of wonderful women on a weekly basis and we have rich conversations around their past and previous relationships with alcohol. I attempt to collaborate a shift in thinking and examination of the relationship between the person and the alcohol. We look at all sides of the relationship and "renegotiate" this relationship with alcohol. (Madsen, W. 2007 Collaborative Therapy with Multi-Stressed Families) This is done with questioning and curiosity, rather than concluding and advising for example, that if she just STOPPED drinking and being an ALCOHOLIC, than she'll be able to recover.
I know that some clients may in fact need to focus on abstinence in the short term to survive, but as a clinician I realize that in the long term, moderation can be a viable option in the process. Risks should always be taken into account, but focus should be on the person's strengths and not their deficits.
IF you know someone who may be in need of assistance, here are some resources:
www.rescuemission.org
www.newportacademy.com
http://www.orange-county-drug-rehab.com/
www.211california.org
In Veritas Libertas
www.heatherlauchlan.com
Here is society's mathematical calculation: pressure with the client to FIX things, and pressure from the therapist to FIX things eventually = recovery.
The dictionary definition of recovery is "a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength." Just the fact that the definition contains the word normal, makes it easy to understand how pressure exerts all its power on someone. It is also understood that there are processes involved in recovery. It is the therapist's job to question the process and assist with better understanding of the person's relationship with the problems. There should not be an attempt at making the person more normal.
When we hear about the recovery process, it is common to assume there may be "issues" centered around what can be referred to as substance abuse. I will use alcohol as an example. I meet with a group of wonderful women on a weekly basis and we have rich conversations around their past and previous relationships with alcohol. I attempt to collaborate a shift in thinking and examination of the relationship between the person and the alcohol. We look at all sides of the relationship and "renegotiate" this relationship with alcohol. (Madsen, W. 2007 Collaborative Therapy with Multi-Stressed Families) This is done with questioning and curiosity, rather than concluding and advising for example, that if she just STOPPED drinking and being an ALCOHOLIC, than she'll be able to recover.
I know that some clients may in fact need to focus on abstinence in the short term to survive, but as a clinician I realize that in the long term, moderation can be a viable option in the process. Risks should always be taken into account, but focus should be on the person's strengths and not their deficits.
IF you know someone who may be in need of assistance, here are some resources:
www.rescuemission.org
www.newportacademy.com
http://www.orange-county-drug-rehab.com/
www.211california.org
In Veritas Libertas
www.heatherlauchlan.com
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Are you the right one?
How do I choose a therapist? This is a common question that is posed quite often. How do you pick the person that you're going to open your wounds and spill your guts out? A person that you will establish a close relationship with? After talking to some of my clients I've heard some factors that stick out as important in choosing: 1. How quickly the potential therapist responds to their inquiry. In such a technically accessible and convenient world, most clients feel a response in less than 24 hours is warranted; whether it's by text, email, Facebook, phone, etc. The quicker the better. 2. Google! Staying on the technical subject, many clients have reported doing Internet searches to see who comes up in their area. Thanks to www.psychologytoday.com, clients can look for therapists specifically in their area and also see the profiles of therapists and how and what population they work with. Many clients say they have an idea of how the therapist might be just by reading profiles or looking at their personal websites. 3. Friend or Family Recommendations This can be tricky for therapists because of confidentiality, however some clients report that they've sought out therapists based on a personal recommendation. The therapist can never confirm this, but the family or friend that comes in may have more confidence in the process knowing someone close to them is being helped. 4. The Very First In Person Meeting! This is the scary part. There is a consensus with clients, that they really make their final decision after the first meeting. Most clients say they "know" immediately after this first meeting their comfort level and whether they'll continue or not. You may be wondering why Experience is not one of the four listed? This factor does come up and has been asked: "How many years have you been in practice?" or "How long have you been working with couples?" Ultimately after meeting with the individual, if it's determined we're on the "same page" and can work together to gain distance from their problems, the years of experience requirement becomes less of a priority. In Veritas Libertas -Heather Lauchlan, MA, MFTI
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